I Had To Go All The Way To China To Finally Understand My Wife’s Eating Disorder
My wife has a long history of eating disorders, and I’ve been with her since 1997, so I’ve watched her face some real struggles over 18 years. I’m happy that she’s been in recovery for a long time now, and so proud of the way she’s helped build platforms like this one that have reached so many people. But even though I’ve seen her difficulties with food firsthand, I always had to listen to her verbalize those feelings and try to sympathize. That all changed when I took my first trip to China. I make documentaries for a living, and was excited that I got assigned to a project that would take me to southern China, in Guangdong province. You can read all about the amazing experience here. A
My wife has a long history of eating disorders, and I’ve been with
her since 1997, so I’ve watched her face some real struggles
over 18 years. I’m happy that she’s been in recovery for a long time now, and so proud of the
way she’s helped build platforms like this one that have reached so many
people. But even though I’ve seen her difficulties with food firsthand,
I always had to listen to her verbalize those feelings and try to
sympathize.
That all changed when I took my first trip to China.
I make documentaries for a living, and was excited that I got
assigned to a project that would take me to southern China, in Guangdong
province. You can read all about the amazing experience here. A big
part of the trip revolved around food. Our host, and the subject of the
documentary, is a man that the Chinese internet dubbed “Brother Orange.”
He owns a restaurant in Wuhua County which is near Meizhou, the Hakka
capital of the world. Hakka means guest, and I’ve never felt more like a
guest in my life. We were treated to all of the best hotels, the best
activities, and of course the best meals that the area had to offer.
And
it was at one of those meals when it hit me like a lightning bolt…if I
didn’t eat enough, my hosts felt responsible and that made me feel
really, really guilty.
I was already being “difficult” because I’m a
vegetarian, and on top of that I tend not to eat much when I’m shooting.
So when delicious noodles, and greens, and eggplant, and pumpkin, and
everything else was being served by my hosts into my bowl…I felt like
every bite I didn’t take was a personal affront to them. The only time I
saw Brother Orange disappointed was when I left the dinner table with a
full bowl of food in front of me.
To have food so intertwined with love, and to have people visibly
disappointed in you if you didn’t eat what they considered to be
enough…how could you not develop an eating disorder? So despite having
one of the most amazing experiences of my life, I did feel like a bad
guest for not eating enough food at pretty much every meal.
But I do feel like I now have a more empathetic relationship to my wife’s issues with food, and a bit of a thick dumpling skin of my own.
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Abe | Los Angeles, CA
Abe is a filmmaker and producer at BuzzFeed Motion Pictures. He is currently working on a documentary about the Brother Orange Story. He is also married to our co-founder, Lynn.
SOURCE: Thick Dumpling Skin – Read entire story here.
